For the past two years, lagi ko na lang sinasalubong ang
pagpasok ng bagong taon na may sakit, masama ang pakiramdam. And this year is
no different from the previous years. Naging tradisyon ko na yata.
Being a “newbie” in the growing population of HIV infected
people (I’m not proud that I'm the latest addition in the statistics), I
try to find strength and encouragement from people who have been through this same
situation as mine. By talking to them and knowing their stories, it gives me
hope that I can also make it.
It has been a week now since I have learned that I got HIV
infection. I thought my world has fallen into a hundred pieces, sumabay sa end-of-the-world craze noong December 21. The only difference is that my world really crumbled, while our world, the Earth, stays completely calm, rotating on its own axis, and revolving around the sun.
As I saw this guy standing in front of the National Bookstore, as if waiting for someone, I approached him. He is in his early 20's, in blue shirt, wearing his glasses. I stared at him for a few seconds. He looked back and nodded. Nagkaintindihan na kami nun, and sabay kami lumabas ng mall.
Parang American Idol lang. "The results are in! Dim the lights..." laging sinasabi ni Ryan Seacrest sa Result Show sa American Idol. Cute niya, parang hindi siya tumatanda. And Jeff Probst too, host ng Survivor, parang hindi rin tumatanda.
And oh, the latest season: Survivor Philippines just ended today. Congrats, Denise! Feeling close. Malcolm's stupid. He should have stick to his alliance with Denise and voted off Lisa instead. Para sana tie ng votes, then they'll have to battle it out who will get voted off. Survivor hangover! Ayun, katatapos ko lang kasi manood ng Survivor: Philippines kaya hindi kagad ako nakapagblog.
After lunch, I suddenly remembered that I have to call the clinic to check if the result of my HIV test is already with them.
As I dialed their number, I had the same heart-pounding feeling as last time. Kumakabog pa dibdib ko when the nurse then spoke. And so I asked if my result is already with them. She told me to wait for a few minutes. "Never mind I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you..." I could hear the sound of turning pages, and that familiar song in the background. Uma-Adele si ate.
the past 5 years, I've been writing my thoughts in my diary. And despite my
busy schedule, I find time to write down entries into it. Yes, nakakapagod
magsulat, but I feel relaxed after I've written something. It's like I got
my own personal confidant to whom I share my thoughts, ideas, hidden desires,
grunts and whines, unforgettable moments, anything... Yun nga lang, I
never get responses from it.. Haha!