She got the sweetest kiss on my cheeks whenever I visit her in their place in the province. The way she smudge her nose on my face, and then inhale deeply as if smelling every scent of me, the way her warm lips touches my skin... they were all one of a kind. So simple that I have taken them for granted for so long. And now that she's gone, I suddenly missed them all.
And as she is laid down to her final resting place, I could not help myself but cry a few tears. I never thought that she would somehow mean this special to me. I never expected that those limited few moments I had with her, mostly as a kid, has put a great impact in my life already. And I cried because of that. I suddenly realized her worth.
She is still my grandmother, after all.
But then, did I really cry just because of her loss?
Or was I thinking about something else?
Was it my possible loss in the near future that worried me too? Did I cry because I saw myself inside the coffin? And then my mom, my dad, and my siblings, clad in white, are all mourning because they could not accept my fate, my early and untimely death, that is. It pains me to think, that with my condition, I would have to die earlier than them and my parents would have to witness all these. And that they would have to undergo through this grieving process because of my death.
Stupid imagination. Playful mind wandering again and again about life's uncertainties.
Yes, death is inevitable. I won't argue on that. What scares me is the when, the how and the where.
But until that day comes, I'm gonna make every day of my life count. I'll cherish every moment I have with my loved ones and never regret anything in life. I'll be looking forward to each new day and thank God for keeping me alive.
After all, life is too short (shorter in my case) to be anything but happy.