Lazy Monday afternoon made me re-read through some of my saved messages from PlanetRomeo. While most saved messages contain different sort of pictures, from wholesome face photos to sexy topless and headless gym fitted hunks, to the absurd nude guys with their hard private part, other messages contain uhm, substance. I prefer the latter.
I created my PR account back when I was still uncertain of my HIV status, hence the username "uncertain_status." And roughly the same day I created my blog for the main purpose of promoting my blog through PR so that I get a good number of audience for my blog. Clever!
But things have changed when I started to get unsolicited inspirational messages and queries too about the disease, the virus, my experiences, that I started to do a profile makeover. I decided to metamorphose my account into an HIV advocacy thingy. So that even in my own little way, I know I have created awareness to the gay community in PR who took their time to painstakingly read through my profile and my blog.
Here are some of the few messages worth saving and sharing.
(I intentionally changed their usernames to respect their privacy. Some, I translated into Tagalog so pardon me for some of the Tagalog terms. That's the best that I could do. Others, I just made some alterations. Please bear with me. And again, those words in bold pinkish font and in parenthesis are mine.)
When: 29.Dec.2012 - 05:50
You have inspired me to get tested for the first time. I went yesterday at the satellite office of RITM and got negative status on all 3 tests. Thank you. Happy New Year.
When: 04.Jan.2013 - 13:47
Follow follow lang sa Twitter. Nag-Christmas party kami last Dec. 29 at next plan is summer outing. You can check my twitter account... ...mostly ang pina-follow at followers ko poz. (He introduced me to Twitterlandia.)
When: 04.Jan.2013 - 23:16
I support your advocacy! Everyone should get tested. :) I also think your username is clever, highlighting that even a pretty boy can be positive. (Okay, so how did he know I was a pretty boy based from my username? And for the record, I don't send pictures to anyone. Thanks for the compliment, anyway.)
When: 05.Jan.2013 - 00:03
Ay oo nga pala, dapat 8am nandoon ka na. Medyo malayo layo rin yon kung magcommute ka. Sakyan mo bus na Alabang Skyway. Walang traffic sa taas at hanapin mo yung fire station. Sa tapat noon may 711 tapos yung tapat ng 711 may mga cab papunta RITM. Pumasok ka sa pinto sa gilid, huwag doon sa harap tapos sabihin mo ARG para ituro ka nila doon sa opis ng ARG at bigyan ka ng code. (This made me laugh. I was actually asking for directions. I'm really poor with directions.)
When: 09. Jan. 2013 - 09:20
M, 26, Manila. Hanap kaibigan, katropa. Yung hindi halata kilos at kung magsalita eh bading. Gusto ko sa medyo chubby o stocky, yung mataba at mabalbon ang hita at legs, may kalakihan at katabaan din ang bur*t ko. Hehe! Face pic mo brad 092768***44. Experience lang ulit ang gusto ko. (Natawa lang din ako dito. This isn't inspiring. Hindi nagbabasa ng profile. See, I still get a lot of indecent proposals kahit nakalagay na sa profile ko that I'm HIV positive.)
When: 09.Jan.2013 - 10:55
I think I get what your status means. I know this may be odd, but I know it's His plan and it is not to harm nor hurt you. I'm not also sure how you are taking this new phase in your life, and I don't really know if you are a believer of Christ or not but let me just share two verses for you:
"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:5
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
I hope you find comfort in these words. If you need prayer, feel free to message me. :) Thanks! (This message is <3.)
When: 16.Jan.2013 - 20:56
Hi. Good evening to you. :) Just like to say thanks. I finally got tested and with a sigh of relief, I'm still good. Pero I mean, actually parang mas napraning ako ngayon. Really I mean, to a certain extent, you made me very aware of it. Thank you. I just don't like to do something that I will regret in the future. At of course, syempre parang for short fun eh medyo matindi ang consequence. I would really like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. You opened this up to me. Thank you again. :)
Hey, I just got my result! Thank God I'm negative. Thank you also for your time. If ever you feel down, just text me. I'm willing to talk or listen, whatever will help. 091782***89
When: 03.Mar.2013 - 21:42
I have read the blog and it never crossed my mind that a doctor can get infected by HIV having all the medical background. But I do not blame him or something like that. I actually symphatize with him because it is really difficult to suffer from having a wall between those people that you love the most. The feeling of being so close and yet so far.
He is a brave man. His message is clear. Nobody is safe if you will not take safety precautions.
And thanks for sharing us this link, sir. (He thought it was somebody else's blog. And exactly my point of telling that I'm a doctor infected with HIV.)
When: 03.Mar.2013 - 21:53
Haha! It's you! I thought it was just somebody who wanted to share your page. I was actually crying in your blog about being unable to tell your parents about your situation. How your parents took care of you for the longest time.
I do not know how it feels like but I am very amazed with how you handle your situation. I am touched by your story.
When: 03.Mar.2013 - 22:24
Walang mangyayari sayo! The best weapon is your hands. Put them together and kneel. It works. ( <3 )
Whatever decisions you have in mind is good as long as it's conscious. (???)
You have to be strong more than ever. You can still help other people. Kailangan ng Pilipinas ang magagaling na doktor and you're one of them. So keep it tight, ok? :)
When: 04.Mar.2013 - 19:33
You are most welcome sir! God never hears you because He always listen. ( <3 )
You have a good heart and God knows that. Yes, we commit mistakes and fall so hard on the ground but it is not about how hard it was but how strong you get up after the fall.
Continue with what you do best and you will be rewarded. There is no better person in your profession but you. So might as well focus your energy with the things that will radiate positive energy because there are people outside that to our surprise might be in need of some positivism.
You can always turn bad situations into a good one depending on how you perceive it. And I know you are capable of that.
God bless you! With God, your status is always certain! :) (Again, this is <3! Although some parts of the message ay talagang nakaka-nosebleed!)
Na-inspire ako sobra at natutuwa ako kasi optimistic ka at nakikita yun sa lahat ng entries mo. (Is it because of the word Aja! Kidding!)
Basta wag mo na lang isipin na burden ka. Cause you're not. Maybe leksyon yung sakit na nakuha mo but more importantly, you learn and you change for the better. Yung iba nga dyan bad kasi having acquired HIV eh ini-spread pa nila. Pero ikaw iba ka. Yun ang blog mo. :)
When: 15.Mar.2013 - 11:27
Reactive daw yung blood ko. For confirmatory pa. Will get the final result after Holy Week. :'( (This is sad news! On the lighter side, he's now enrolled in RITM, and a new member of Twitterlandia.)
When: 01.Apr.2013 - 12:39
Just keep your optimism po. A heart that eagerly prays for wellness will reap its desire. Nothing is impossible for the good Lord. Malay mo trial lang ito and mawawala yan in a short span of time. The Lord does His wonders in a mysterious way. Just keep your faith and do what you think is right. God bless you doc. ^_^ (Mawawala daw? False hope itong si kuya, pero <3 na rin itong message na ito. Keri na!)
When: 02.Apr.2013 - 12:43
Hello, my name is J** and I have been reading your blogs since yesterday and I was wondering if you could help me as well. I do not feel any symptoms of HIV as of this writing; but looking back at my younger years when I was more sexually active, I could not help but worry. If you could text me, I would appreciate it. My number is 091944***08. Thank you for bringing this level of awareness to me. God bless you more! I will be waiting. Thank you. (Too bad, I really do not give my contact number to anyone, especially the uninfected ones, now that they are aware of my status.)
When: 13.May.2013 - 13:47
Hi there. I'm just passing by hanggang sa napunta ako sa profile mo pati na sa blog mo. I find it interesting the way you cope into your life. Being in the medical field as well, I can say that partly I understand your situation. Mas mataas pa nga kung tutuusin ang degree mo kesa sa akin. I'm not HIV positive but let me commend your strength and new perspective in life. Go through it, madami ka pang pagdadaanan but never ever give up. Make the most of it. If life gives you a lemon then make an apple juice out of it. And make people think how in the hell you made it. :)
Kidding aside, the way your status say you're here for a chat, so am I. Masyado na akong madaming nasabi, I don't know but I'm impressed by your blog. An extraordinary blog with an extraordinary courage to cover it. Good eve and hope to hear from you soon. (He heard from me naman, thanking him for those words. And advanced siya ha, good eve kaagad, afternoon pa lang nung nagmessage siya.)
And there you go! I did these to share the blessings I received from these beautiful people. Nakakataba ng puso considering I never asked anything from them.
And so through this entry, I want my imaginary readers to be inspired by them too.
"And do not neglect doing good and sharing; for with such sacrifices God is pleased." Hebrews 13:16