Monday, June 30, 2014

Something Noble... Or Maybe Not (2 of 2)

After several months of not seeing and hearing from each other, LA, my non-mutant ex suitor, and I met again about a week ago. He was late, as usual. But this time, he asked to move our meeting time 30 minutes later. I didn't mind.

He looked pretty much the same from the last time I saw him. Skinny as he was before and still wearing braces on his teeth, he was donning a simple black shirt, maong shorts, and a pair of sneakers.

As we walked our way to the clinic, we recalled and casually talked about what happened to us that day after his first visit to RITM Satellite Clinic. That day when I thought I did something noble. Or maybe not.

We arrived at his apartment a bit late in the afternoon already yet the sun was still high up in the sky. However, his room was dark unless you turn the lights on. If I were to stay there, I'd be disoriented to time. No sunshine, no moonlight. Only the light from the space between the door and the floor manages to get inside his room. One bed mattress on the floor and several piles of clothes scattered around his room.

We slumped down the mattress as he opened his laptop, asking me what movie I wanted to watch. I forgot what I chose, but I believe it was a noisy film. Soon as the movie started playing, we also started playing.

I knew it wasn't right but the urge of the flesh was stronger than my morals that time. I gave in. We played, got naked, and played some more inside his dimly lit room. Growls, and moans coincided with the noise from the movie that was playing.

Protected and very cautious, I got inside him. There was a sexual union between us two, but not quite literally. Thanks to the rubber protection the clinic gave him that day, we did it the safest way possible.

He said he liked it as he asked for another round but I already declined. I don't want to expose him to my virus any further. We stopped, got rid of the rubber protection filled with my fluid, slumped down the mattress again, still holding on to each other's warm, sweaty bodies. He put his head on my chest and listened as I was catching my breath. We slept for awhile leaving the movie playing 'til it was finished. We got ourselves fixed afterwards, went outside and had dinner before parting ways.

And we snapped back to reality. I couldn't believe we just talked about it very casually. Jokingly, he invited me again at his place but I refused.

We arrived at the clinic. He got tested again. I asked what he has been eagerly wanting to tell me for I was clueless. I waited until he was done with the blood extraction. Then we went outside and ate at a nearby fast food chain.

He said he hasn't been true to his promise to me that he's going to practice safe sex all the time after he got non-reactive results from his first test. He assured me that he had only one sexual partner after me, and that is his current partner. However, he admitted that they engage in unsafe sexual activities. Adding up to his anxiety, he caught his partner cheating on him, prompting him to get tested again.

While he was anxious about the result, I was also experiencing the same level of anxiety. What if he turned out reactive to HIV? He could only blame two persons and I'm one of them. It could only mean that he could have gotten it from me, and worse, passed it to his current partner. And since he caught his partner cheating on him, his partner could have passed it on to someone else.

Or I could convince him to think the other way around. To clear my name, I could tell him that because of the infidelity of his partner, and their unprotected sex practices, he could have gotten it from him, and not from me. The problem is what if he asked me to take the test to prove I don't have it.

Anxiety attack!

We returned back to the clinic after our merienda, and my reprimands and reminders to him about safe sex, and fidelity issues back at the fast food chain. We waited a few minutes, and his number was called for the results of his blood test.

He went out of the room poker-faced after the post-counseling stuffs. He approached me, handed me his results as I read them silently one by one.


Big sigh of relief! He was still non-reactive to syphilis, hepatitis B, and HIV.


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