Birthday - it's that one special day amongst 365 others when we feel very special, very blessed.
But I guess mine last year wasn't a special one. I could remember my birthday celebration last year very well. I thought it would have been my last. And technically still, it was the latest. (I haven't had my birthday yet this year.)
Reminiscent mode: ON!
I looked terribly awful those days. I looked so thin, though my tummy never really got small. I had several pimples on the neck area which appeared pretty much disgusting. I told myself I would rather have zits on the face ('cause that's more usual) than to have multiples of them on the neck area. Plus, I was itching all over my body without any triggering factors. In short, I looked ill those times, most especially on my special day.
I was still clueless about my status. A lot of things were running through my head. Will I ever make it to celebrate my 26th birthday? I even thought of giving myself a gift of knowing my real HIV status. But I backed off. I was scared to know the answer right on my birthday.
But then again, I had a tight grip with reality. Life moves on and so must I. I celebrated it several times with family and friends as if I was feeling fine, no matter how haggard I looked. And it turned out good eventually. Foods, cakes, birthday candles, gifts, laughter, bonding moments with friends, plus the rain - all priceless.
Yes, it was a rainy weekend that time. Vivid memory... because as far as I could remember (thanks to my previous FB posts), it was the rainiest birthday I had all my life. Gloomy weather to celebrate another year in my life full of uncertainties. However, I just thought of it as a shower of blessings from Him. It's just a matter of perspectives, I should say!
Funny as I looked back on the photos during my 26th birthday, I noticed a commonality among the gifts I had received from my different sets of friends. All their gifts were pictures of us together, old and new, with their birthday messages and wishes. And there's one common message we often use to greet the celebrator which really struck me now.
"More birthdays to come."
Cliche as it may sound but I guess this simple and overly used birthday message has a lot more meaning now than it has before, for me and for all other people who have their own struggles in life. I sure would appreciate to have more happy birthdays to come in my life.
And I am just as happy whenever I learn that my mutant friends celebrate their birthdays. I feel for them. Birthdays just got a lot more meaningful than before.
So to all my mutant friends who just recently celebrated or will be celebrating their birthdays. Happy birthday to you and may you have more birthdays to come. I mean it. :)
There's got to be more to life...